Matt Shade's Parlour - Hello, cruel world!

Coming home for Chriiistmaas...

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:32:15 GMT

Oh man, I bought too many Christmas gifts. Too expensive ones, too. I'll have to be really clever if I want to get it all on the plane without getting fined for heavy load.

I know, I'll lug my packed suitcase into the gym, up the spiral staircase and use their scale. There'll be the guys on the threadmill, the guys on the Stairmasters and me repacking my overstuffed suitcase, christmas stockings and make up boxes and English treats all around me.

I'm on a bit of a high at the mo', being up all through the night working on your presentation then listening to everybody else's for four hours straight with a mindnumbing headache then out about town Christmas shopping will do that to you.

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 11:54:53 GMT

001. Real name → Mats
002. Nick name → Matt, Max, Matthew, Matthias, emo matt
003. Status → Single
004. Zodiac sign → Libra
005. Male or female → Male
006. Elementary → N/A
007. Middle School → N/A
008. High School → N/A
009. Smart → Above average IQ but still not smart enough to figure out a reason to exist
010. Hair color → Dark brown
011. Long or short → Somewhere in between
012. Loud or Quiet → Quiet unless I'm in a depressive state of fight or flight, then I start bruising my fists against whatever will hurt the most and swearing to the heavens
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans. Usually own one or two pairs and wear them constantly until they mysteriously disappear on me
014. Phone or Camera → Phone although I really only use it as an alarm clock
015. Health freak → Been trying for years with varying results
016. Drink or Smoke? → Neither
017. Do you have a crush on somebody right now? → Nope, never have and most likely never will
018. Eat or Drink → Eat
019. Piercings → No way, costs too damn much and I walk through too many metal detectors
020. Tattoos → No way, costs too damn much and I'd probably regret what design I chose
021. Righty or lefty → Righty but working on becoming ambidextrous

FIRSTS :
023. First piercing → N/A
024. First best friend → Annelie, we were born one day apart and we still talk
025. First award → Best English student
026. First crush → N/A
027. First pet → Cat the cat
028. First big vacation → Disney World though I didn't get to see much of it since I was still in utero
030. First big birthday → No idea

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Vegetables
050. Drinking → Water
052. I'm about to → Get some lunch
053. Listening to → Skillet - Falling inside the Black
054. Plans for today → Try to do some studying then go to the Christmas Fair and look for gifts to buy
055. Waiting for → The cleaning lady to get done in the kitchen so I can sneak in and get some lunch

YOUR FUTURE
058. Want kids? → No
059. Want to get married? → No
060. Careers in mind → Worm's meat

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes
070. Shorter or taller → Doesn't matter
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Doesn't matter
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Doesn't matter
074. Sensitive or loud → No idea
075. Hook-up or relationship → No idea
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → No idea

HAVE YOU EVER
079. Drank bubbles → Only when I'm curious about a soda I've never seen before
080. Lost glasses/contacts → All the time but I usually find them right away
081. Ran away from home → From home, no. From daycare to home, yeah.
084. Broken someone's heart → Nope
085. Been arrested → No
087. Cried when someone died → No. Wait, Two Socks in Dances With Wolves, I bawled like a baby

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
089. Yourself → No, I'd say I was a waste of space but don't believe in those either
090. Miracles → Would depend on your definition
091. Love at first sight → I don't think so
092. Heaven → Don't care, wouldn't want to go there
093. Santa Claus → No
094. Sex on the first date → I don't have sex, I leave that stupidity to the rest of the species
095. Kiss on the first date → I don't date, I leave that stupidity to the rest of the species

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → No
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No and there's nowhere else I would be
099. Do you believe in God → Would depend on your definition. A Creator, maybe. One with divine right, no

Choking on media

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 20:54:45 GMT

What in blue blazes is wrong with me?

My first assignment for media studies is coming up but I can't do it. I just can't. I'm on three #¤%"£€{! kinds of antidepressants and I still can't do the &("¤!%#! thing.

It's a simple &("¤!%#! assignment. All they want me to do is pick a genre, pick 3-4 movies and then analyse the heck out of their representation of femininity (or masculinity).

The problem is the more I learn about media the less I want to know about it. It goes from me wanting to learn about storytelling and idealistic journalism to me forcing myself to not go back to emo overload before hearing another word about audience manipulation and big business and politics and male cultural domination. I'm sitting in lectures, nodding and smiling but on the inside I'm going "I already KNOW there's a lot of spin going on! Would you PLEASE just give me something that says there is some truth out there, you know, so maybe, just maybe I can contribute something that isn't just more spin?!"

Getting my act together

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:40:15 GMT

All the working out is starting to pay off, I feel better about myself, or maybe it's the plethora of prescribed drugs I've been downing morning and night kicking in. Which I really hate, by the way, I've always been sort of "if I can't beat it on my own I'm not worthy of having it go away" so if I ever got cancer they'd have to tie me up and drag me to the chemo and radiation appointments.

Been trying a new tack with my fanfics, which is plotting the main themes and leaving the details for later, which is pretty much the opposite of before where I've been like a person trying to decide on furniture before he's even drawn out the blueprints for the house.

First entry. Go me!

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 16:37:06 GMT

Pretty uneventful day so far. Been staying in and trying to write my UW fanfic all day but it's just the usual devil's-in-the-details writer's block rearing its ugly head.
Lectures start tomorrow... all day tomorrow. I'd stock up on caffeine except I don't do caffeine. Then again now that I've quit chocolate and the like I'm practically scaling the walls anyway so I guess it'll be okay.